Member-only story
Too much coffee on an empty stomach. I’ve canceled all my plans and am now just planning to take trains and stay in cheap hotels for the next few days. I should only ever travel this way. It might be the only way I’m happy. I feel bad, actually, for anyone who travels with me. I don’t like ‘doing’ — I like sitting in cafes. Travel for me means sitting in cafes, taking trains, and walking around. That’s about it. I cringe inwardly every time I go to a restaurant — I’d rather eat from markets, eat apples and cheese. But people go to restaurants. It’s what we do, what we do together. I guess we get our money’s worth by spending more money. I guess money must be spent to justify money’s existence. This is why nothing is cheap: because cheap would take away all our pleasure. Espresso is cheap here, so I drink espresso. If it were more expensive, I would pretend it tasted better, like I do in New York where it’s quite expensive. Someone commented that my post yesterday was depressing; I imagine because they imagine that internet writing is supposed to remain optimistic, externalize an internalized consumerist mindset.
