Member-only story
I find that my stress tolerance seems to be declining. The older I get, the harder it is to put up with the small — or slightly bigger than small — organization, bureaucratic, mishaps that are indigenous to adulthood. I don’t know why there are so many rules, so much paperwork; so many expenses. I resent it all — I have no respect for money and rules the way some people do… it just seems absurd to me; a purposeful cruelty woven into the fabric of existence.
I can almost feel the cortisol released by my brain — adrenaline; I can feel my body pouring its resources into a physiological response better designed to run from a sabertooth tiger than register for a credit report.
I can feel my brain shrinking itself — becoming less a Mind and more an organ, a mollusk, retreating into its shell.
As much as I find the mindfulness movement to be kitsch, to be a fad — I understand the impulse; I understand the need that people believe their meeting when they download a mindfulness app. They’re trying to clear away the debris of Too Much Stuff; they’re trying to wipe clean a blackboard covered top to bottom with insane equations.
