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THE FUTURE: A PLAY

novalis
1 min readApr 25, 2020

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2019 Me: Who’s there?
2020 Me: Hey dude’s, it’s future Me.
2019 Me: Sweet, what’s up?
2020 Me: Well…
2019 Me: Oh shit…
2020 Me: Yeah it’s bad…
2019 Me: OH FUCK. What? Is —
2020 Me: Yeah Kobe is dead.
2019 Me: Nooo. That’s the worst thing.
2020 Me: No no no. It’s not. Everyone is on lockdown from a terrible virus that you’ll also get and you can’t be in New York or have sex or no one can and 30 million people lost their jobs and Trump is telling people to drink bleach.
2019 Me: Ok ok but Bernie’s noble candidacy is going strong last I checked!
2020 Me: Yes until the DNC pulled some strings… and …
2019 Me: Mayor Pete oh no!!
2020 Me: No no… not Mayor Pete!!
2019 Me: Hillarryyy noooo.
2020 Me: No no — Biden, fucking Biden.
2019 Me: Ahhhhhh.
2020 Me: But don’t worry, the DNC killed his campaign too after it turned out…
2019 Me: Totally groped a bunch of women right?
2020 Me: Yeah.
2019 Me: So Hillary right?
2020 Me: No no — Cuomo.
2019 Me: Andrew?!
2020 Me: Nah nah. Chris. President Elect Christ Cuomo.

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